They protected the end zone as if their wives and children were hiding beneath it. Time after time, the Vikings slammed a battering ram into the Lions’ red-zone door, and time after time the Detroit Lions repelled them.

They knocked away passes. They dragged down running backs. They chased the quarterback into bad throws and sacks. Heck, I think they shot a few flaming arrows and launched some catapults, too.

But the Detroit message was clear. The only team getting into the end zone tonight is us.

Happy Monday, Motor City. In the NFL’s biggest regular-season finale in a very long time, the 15-2 Lions squeezed the 14-3 Vikings like Popeye squeezes a spinach can. As a result, they get all the goodies. The No. 1 seed in the conference. The first-round bye. The NFC North crown. And the right to stay home until the Super Bowl.

Even Oscar nominees don’t get that much swag.

You know what? They earned every item.

“What a win, what a win,” Dan Campbell gushed after the 31-9 victory. “I can’t say enough about our defense…they really controlled that game for us.”

Controlled it? They choked the life out of it. If Minnesota were coal, it’d be a diamond by now. The previously high-flying Vikings had 12 plays in the red zone Sunday night and never crossed the goal line. Twice they had first-and-goal at the Lions 5 — and got no points!

Remember who the Lions were playing here. Minnesota had won nine straight games, torching secondaries with their excellent receivers, Aaron Jones’ rushing and Sam Darnold’s resuscitated passing arm. The Vikings hadn’t scored less than 27 points per game in over a month.

They got three field goals Sunday.

Three field goals?

“That grit, man,” said cornerback Amik Robertson, who had maybe his best game as a Lion, draping All-World receiver Justin Jefferson like wrapping paper, holding him to three catches, 54 yards and no touchdowns. “We hear the noise, man. We hear whatever, whatever.

“We came out tonight and played Lions football. We did it high-fashioned. And we did it our way.”

Road to Super Bowl

Well, whatever way they did it, we hope they bottle it and repeat it three more times this season. The noise Robertson was referring to was the oft-repeated claim that Detroit was too injured to be an elite defense anymore. And the numbers over recent weeks certainly showed a stock that was falling, not rising.

But when they had to, the Lions put on a defensive clinic. Using all the healthy tools they had, Aaron Glenn’s group blitzed Darnold constantly to force him into errant throws. The secondary, guys like Robertson, Brian Branch, Kerby Joseph and Terrion Arnold, stayed with the Vikings receivers long enough to make Darnold hesitate. The pass rush took care of the rest. Darnold, often chased from the pocket, didn’t even complete half of his passes (18-41). He got sacked twice, hit 10 times and pursued like a rabbit at a dog track. He finished with a quarterback rating of 17.4.

For those just getting into football, that’s not good.

As a result, it’s the Vikings, not the Lions, who drop to the No. 5 seed, and have to go on the road for the postseason, starting next Monday in Los Angeles, against the Rams. Ugh. Just thinking about that makes you appreciate this Lions win even more.

“It felt like a playoff game,” said Alex Anzalone. “We knew the implications. It was huge.”

Oh, yes. Anzalone. The Thor-like linebacker returned for the first time since breaking his forearm on November 17 against Jacksonville. Standing by his locker after the game, he admitted “my arm’s killing me” but he said it smiling. And why not? He was a huge reason for this Lions victory. Anzalone not only directs the defense, calls out plays and makes quick reads of the opponent’s offense, but on Sunday he spent much of the game buzzing Vikings tight end T.J. Hockenson like a mosquito in a hot tent.

Hockenson, whom many figured would have a big game against his former team, caught only two of the eight passes thrown his way, for a measly 9 yards.

Anzalone was the biggest reason.

“I thought it was going to take (Alex) a minute to work himself back in,” Campbell admitted afterwards. “It didn’t take long at all. He was back to what he was before he got injured… I mean, he’ll get a game ball.”

He’ll get more than that. He and the rest of the Lions get that cherished week off now — their first since the early bye in week 5. Injured players get to heal. Tired players get to rest. And other teams get to beat each other up, while Detroit waits comfortably at home. Mostly thanks to a defense that many experts had dismissed as done.

“I feel like a lot of the media were out there saying with the injuries, we’re not a top 10 defense (anymore) …” Joseph said. “It’s basically saying we’re not good enough. …That’s so insulting. Cause we still got guys. Whoever comes in here knows what’s up. They know what time it is, man.”

Yes. Time to take a week off.

Lions’ Sonic boom

Now admit it. You never thought the Lions would win this game with their defense. Of course, unless your defense is going to score touchdowns, you’re going to need some points from your offense. Which is where Jahmyr Gibbs came in Sunday. You can’t talk about this win without throwing some rose petals his way.

Gibbs was simply everywhere. He got the ball on five of the Lions first six plays, a harbinger of how much the they were going to lean on him Sunday.

No problem. Call him Bill Withers. Lean on him 23 times for rushes (139 yards) five times for catches (31 yards) and four times for touchdowns (three running, one receiving.) The 22 year-old second-year running back was simply a monster Sunday. He now has more touchdowns than anyone in the NFL this season.

“He was special today,” quarterback Jared Goff said. “And we needed him to be.”

Sadly, that won’t change. With David Montgomery still injured, Gibbs is the rushing attack. I’m sure more than a few Detroit fans were screaming “Take him out! Keep him safe!” once the Lions opened a big lead in the fourth quarter Sunday.

Relax. He’s OK. He’s young. And now he and all the rest of this constantly surprising group get to exhale, take stock, and prepare for the post-season like the war that it will be, without having to rush into battle while pulling their socks on.

“In another world it would have happened a couple weeks ago,” Goff joked, “but it happens right now, and now the playoffs start. … We’re proud to be 15-2, NFC North division champs — back-to-back, one seed, bye week, all that stuff,. … But this is just tick number one. And tick number two is next.”

Yes, it is. But, blessedly, not this weekend. Happy Monday, Lions fans. Have you ever been so happy to NOT be watching them play?

Contact Mitch Albom: [email protected]. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books and events at MitchAlbom.com. Follow him @mitchalbom.