Photo: Sam Hodde/Getty Images

In the wake of her divorce, Gisele Bündchen has experienced what I’d call a post–Tom Brady glow-up. (That is, if glow-ups are scientifically possible for a supermodel with a year-round tan.) Since the couple went their separate ways in 2022, Bündchen has embraced the “pura vida” lifestyle: She now spends her free time frolicking on the beach in Costa Rica, paddleboarding in Miami, and snuggling up to her jujitsu instructor turned boyfriend, Joaquim Valente. But now that the 44-year-old has reportedly welcomed her first child with Valente, I can’t help wondering how Brady — who’s been listening to a concerning amount of the Chicks as of late — is holding up.

According to “Page Six,” Brady is doing just fine. One source stressed that the retired quarterback is happy for his ex-wife, and another claimed Brady even reached out to Bündchen privately to congratulate her on her new baby. Far more mature than I was expecting from a guy who takes comfort in angsty Drake lyrics and thinks Netflix roasts are an acceptable way to process his emotions.

Luckily for Brady, the Super Bowl is right around the corner, which means the former Patriots player has been finding solace in old tape from his glory days and posting videos of himself cradling the Lombardi trophy in 2003. “It’s important not to get caught up in distractions,” he said in a Tuesday Instagram video, offering advice to players gearing up for the big game. Sounds a little Freudian, if you ask me.